The Insecure New Parent

I’d say I’m a realist some days, some days insecure, & others I’m an idealistic romantic ready to take on the world (I think it depends on the moon, haha). But in all seriousness, parenting is a worrisome endeavor. As a parent you are responsible for an entire life, from the very start. I have to say that is a lot of pressure, especially when you do it on your own as a single parent. Therefore I became an educated mother… a little out of fear of ‘not doing it right,’ but mostly empowered by the immense love I have for my daughter & my desire to do the best I can for her.

So I say there is no shame in being insecure in your parenting, for me it meant that I care enough to bypass arrogance & ego & admit that there was so much I didn’t know & so sought the information. For all those moms & dads out there who can identify with feeling this way, or for those curious about healthy parenting & healthy living– as of today I am starting a thread, under the Category “Healthy Parenting” with topical sub-categories.

The first few posts will be on plastics: simple comprehensive facts on how to read those codes (which signify not only their recycling classification but what chemicals constitute them, & which leach into your food & are known carcinogens). I will also talk about how to take a realistic approach to  healthy living: of how to have some plastic in our lives while minimizing our exposure to toxins.

I hope you all find these posts helpful. I’d love to hear your comments & about any topics you’re particularly concerned or passionate about.

Poetry Catalyzes, Share the Joy of It

But the living poets express a feeling that is actually being made and torn out of us at the moment. One does not recognize it in the first place; often for some reason one fears it; one watches it with keenness and compares it jealously and suspiciously with the old feeling that one knew. –Virginia Wolf, A Room of One’s Own

I was leafing through this book again today & stumbled upon that wonderful description of modern poetry, still true today of course. In the passage itself she’s talking about a comparison of greatness between modern poets the old greats like Tennyson & Christina Rossetti. But she takes this new argument as to why the classics were abd are more revered, it’s not about the culture as I’d think, as most would. It’s about the feeling. The old greats write of the classic emotions in a classic way, it’s comfortable. It’s evocative, yes, it’s wrenching, yes, and it makes you feel. But it makes you feel what you like, what you already know. Modern poetry is written to dissolve that. As a poet myself I can say my goal when I conider or edit a poem is to say how I feel and say it in a new way.

I strive to write to be a catalyst to a new faction of emotion, to push thought to a new border of the mind. I’m grateful for the greats who taught us how to do it right, but now I’ll write my way, because you have to learn the rules to break them right?

I look forward to sharing some poetry with you as I continue working on a line of cards inscribed with short poems & art. Cards will be available free with purchase of any Daughter of the Moon product you deem a ‘gift’ for someone. Cards will also be sold separately in complete packs for those interested in a set. I’ll be posting pictures in the coming weeks so check back soon!

For me, meditation allows me answers, peace, & acceptance of the change that sometime seems unyielding. This is a great post (which I read like a poem) on the process of meditation, this quote sums it up for me: “Meditation has taught me to measure release, and accept my fate. I am my pen, for existence has the magic to pause itself in moments of stillness and grasp you, the single evidence.” Evidence of what? Of itself? I love the open ending. This too is meditation for me, when I listen I hear the answers I need, for what I’m seeking to resolve, but they’re never concrete, they change as circumstance does, as I do, as the wind changes through the tree I’m rooted in, a moment passes & when it does so the world has changed again.

Spirit Shivers

Every time you don’t follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness.
-Shakti Gawain

My spirit is directly associated with my consciousness. This quote from Shakti Gawain above talks about that feeling of disappointing yourself, or acting against your better judgement.

When I do something against my better judgement or morality, ignoring my conscious, I can feel my spirit quiver. It becomes disturbed, uncomfortable. And as cold bodies shiver in order to create body heat, so my spirit shivers. As it shakes, so it loses shards of itself- like small icicles falling off of tree branches when the wind sets in between the frosted cedars. And so I loose a little of myself each time my spirit shakes, each time telling me: something’s wrong. Should I choose to listen, I’d hear it say: stop, think about it in its entirety before you act.

Rochester SAGE - Supporting Advanced & Gifted Education

Heinlein Quote

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life.  And that is why I succeed. – Michael Jordan

The pupil who is never required to do what he cannot do, never does what he can do. – John Stuart Mill

I want my kids to fail.  That probably isn’t at the top of your list for your kids, but it should be.  Failure is one of the most important experiences they will ever have.  The road to success is paved with failure because failure teaches us how to succeed.

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Share an Exchange of Gratitude in Response to Pain

There’s  a moment of empathetic energetic exchange between two people when they share a moment of gratitude that is without parallel.

After recent loss, disappointment, or heartbreak I tend to get more introspective & honest. Why? Maybe because through the crying & the pain- my emotions are brought even closer to the surface than they usually are; & let’s just say I’m empathetic on a good day & over-sensitive on a bad one, 0=)

But somehow, I’ve learn to twist heartbreak into something usable. There’s so much energy there, it’s got to be good for something. So today I did MORE, that is, listened more, played more with my daughter, went out of my way to help a stranger who dropped something while I was out, etc.

Why? Because giving feels good, & that moment of empathetic energetic exchange between two people who share a moment of gratitude is without parallel.

Have you experienced a difficult breakup or loss of a loved one? How did you handle it? What worked for you?