Mother’s Day, now that I’m the only one

For me, I don’t think I miss my mother any more on holidays than I do when I can’t sleep & I reach to call her because I think she’s working the night shift and fiddling with her phone, or when I’m hurting & I just want to lay in bed next to her and watch a funny movie, or when I drive my truck (which was hers) and I remember her singing off key while she drove wildly.

I can tell you I am certainly not over my mother’s death, even now years later. But really, how long does it take to forget your mother? I hope never.

But I am content with the loss of her, I am grateful to have had the 19 amazing years with her I had & grateful still to have today even without her because I am with myself, my daughter, my partner, & everyone who makes up my family & community.

While my mother was alive she taught me how to survive, as a mother should. With her death my mother taught me to live well and live now.

For those of you who’ve lost your mother or any loved one: I know it hurts, believe me I do, but the pain lessens over memories and the joy increases. I wish you the best in your process, and wish you all a happy and joyful Mother’s Day.

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